You never truly realize how much you miss home, your real home with your original family, until you go back for a holiday after being away for months. Even though the South is now my home, where I will live and start the newest part of my life with the Southern Guy, I will always call where my parents live “Home”. Don’t get me wrong, I love my new home down here, but the North will always be where my past is and where my home began. I was very blessed to be able to go back home for Christmas and spend some much needed time with my parents and younger sisters, Boo and Meesh. Meesh brought with her from Utah, her first serious boyfriend, The Asian, which was very interesting because I just got engaged, and she’s now in a pretty steady “serious” relationship (they aren’t planning on getting married any time soon from what I heard), and then my littlest baby sister Boo Boo is almost done with high school. We are all in very different stages of life, and it’s always been that we were close enough in age in general that what we were going through as individuals the others had, had at least an idea of how it felt. So it was very interesting that my sisters and I were so far apart in our different stages of life, I could still relate to both of them, but neither of them could really even imagine how happy, excited, and nervous I was. There was lots of girl time to talk about each of us and they had plenty of questions.
It’s interesting how as we grow up and move onward with life how our relationships change in drastic ways, but they also in the same since stay the same. My sisters and I are closer than we’ve ever been, but our relationship is built more on respect now and our views of each other have changed to fit more appropriately to our age and stage of life. My little sisters come to me now asking questions and see me now as more of an adult and big sister in the sense that they trust me more and want to spend time together. There’s a friendship there that hasn’t been there since we were little, I take responsibility for being a bully when we were kids, but lets be honest, it takes two to tango.
Anyway, Christmas was amazing! It was wonderful to be home and be able to enjoy our time together doing chores and everyone fell back into place as if two of us were still living there, rather than we had moved out and were living as adults, and one of us was getting ready to take one of the biggest steps of their lives and get married. That’s what I love about my family, that no matter where I’ve gone or how long I’ve been away, I can always come back and I will always have a place to come home to. I will always have that net there to catch me.
My youngest sister, Boo, has had a hard time with her two big sisters leaving to grow up and start their lives as adults. She’s scared to make that jump herself, and for her it’s only a year and a half until she graduates and can start college. She kept asking me to talk to her or just listen to her about why she’s so scared about it all, that she feels like her safety net is becoming unraveled without Meesh and I there, that the net has become less secure and she’s on her own more and more. She’s scared of the unknown of becoming an adult and leaving home, a feeling we’ve all had at one point in our lives, but after we take that leap of faith we realize there’s nothing to be afraid of.
It’s that moment before the jump, the climb up to the point where you jump, all the thinking before hand, where you start getting scared and nervous. You don’t don’t know what is going to happen when you give into the urge to fling yourself from this new height, higher than you’ve ever gone. Will it hurt more when you land? Will others be there with you falling through the air? Will you fall or fly?
We all have taken these leaps like little birds from the nest, and others have seen us fall and then in the distance start flapping and flying away. It’s that in between where all they knew was that we were falling and then we mysteriously start flying, that makes the experience even more scary because they don’t know how we went from free falling to gracefully flying. We forget that not everyone makes it on the first try, many of us have to get help, be picked up and taken back to the nest to recoup and then try again, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If anything it proves your strength in your determination to persevere. Eventually when the time is right and you are ready, you will take off on your own.
That was and is my advice to my little sister, that it’s perfectly normal to be afraid of the next step in life, to be nervous and excited about it all, and don’t worry if she fails the first time, just make sure to pick yourself back up so you can try again. The only true failure is giving up.
There were a lot of emotions during this Christmas trip, most happy, few were not, but overall we got to reconnect as a family and all of us were excited to start planning the upcoming wedding between the Southern Guy and I. More on that later…
P.S. Sorry it’s taken so long to get this post up, wedding planning is really hard long distance and I put blogging off for far too long. So I’m finishing the posts that I started way back when and adding them now.